Why cooking is so important to my mental health


It's been six weeks since I have been furloughed from work and let me tell you, I'm all over the place. I always thought I enjoyed my own company and relished in being alone. But I have discovered that whilst I do like my own company, I just don't like to be alone with my own thoughts. I am complete over-thinker of situations and a worrier by nature. This current situation has made me into a complete bundle of nervous energy and I feel utterly exhausted in my day-to-day life. So I have, like so many other people, turned to my kitchen as a coping mechanism.

I've always been a keen cook and this seems to have intensified during the restrictions. I find pouring over a recipe for an hour or two can really help to clear my mind. My mind concentrates on what is in front of me rather than whirling away like a tornado and causing me to feel on edge. For a moment, after I've made something delicious, I feel normal again and not trapped in this 'new normal' everyone seems to be banging on about.

What I put inside my body each day for breakfast, lunch and dinner seems to be the only thing in my control at the minute. I can't control anything else in the world. This is something very difficult to comprehend for someone who is an obsessive planner and control freak. But if I want to have a lasagne for dinner then I can make that lasagne!


I am cooking and baking far too much than a two-person household needs. We try to eat it all but sometimes we just can't before it goes bad. So we are doing numerous drop-offs on our daily exercise during the week. We're lucky we live within walking distance of most of our friends so we haven't felt as isolated as some people. Dropping off a slice of banana bread or a loaf of sourdough is my way of letting friends and family know I'm thinking of them. That 5 minute wave from the top of their path does all the difference to my mental health.

So, I'm not going to stop cooking up a storm any time soon. Even when I have to load up the dishwasher for the fourth time that day. It's bringing me so much joy and I have never eaten so well in my life. Long may it continue!

Have you been cooking or baking as a coping mechanism too?

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Tips for learning that work life balance - and why it is so hard to get right




Outfit:
Orange and black floral maxi dress: Fashion World*
Black crossover bag: Kate Spade (similar)
Nude midi heeled sandals: Fashion world*

Are you even a millennial if you don't moan about how much you work? Our generation works such long hours and often has a hefty commute to boot. By the time the working day is over it's easy to feel exhausted. You feel like you spend your life either in an office or in a mode of transport getting to said office. Monday to Friday your life can become a bit of a blur and a waste. Here a few things to ensure I try to get work life balance some of the time!

Always take at least a 30 minutes lunch break
The British seem to have this working culture where they eat lunch at their desk and spend all their working day glued to their computer screens. Luckily I work on a desk where they actively encourage you to take time out and get away from your screen. I find even just 30 minutes away from my desk aimlessly walking down the high street, in and out of a few shops, can help me come back much more refreshed for the rest of the day. The fresh air does a world of good especially during the winter. If you have a long commute it can sometimes feel like you haven't seen day light as you leave in the dark and get home in the dark!

Learn to stay in at least one day over the weekend
If you work long hours during the week it can be easy to make frantic plans at the weekend so you feel like you're making 'the most' out of your free time. But come the time when the alarm screeches on a Monday morning you can end up feeling exhausted because you literally haven't stopped all week. Instead choose either the Saturday or Sunday to have no plans and take the day off to truly relax. Catch up on that Netflix series you keep meaning to start, bake that cake that you saw in your recipe book or potter around the house doing jobs that make you feel better.

Stop being that person who flakes
It can be all too easy to become a hermit when you spend a huge chunk of time working. Sometimes the last thing you want to do is leave your house and socialise when all you want is to have some 'you' time. But sometimes you need to force yourself to go out. Nine times out of ten you'll come home feeling glad you made an effort to catch up with friends.

Give yourself a break as soon as you walk through the door at home
Sometimes I spend my whole 90 minute commuter home thinking about work. I think about those emails I didn't have time to reply too, what I need to add to my to-do list the next day and I dwell on things if I've had a particular bad day. This really isn't healthy. If I really have to then I do think about the work I've left behind but as soon as I open my front door I completely clear it from my mind. The best way to do this is to walk straight into the kitchen and start cooking dinner. Following a recipe helps me to switch off as that's all I can concentrate on at the time. Then once Ive eaten I find it so much easier to put the woes of the day behind me.
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Can you ever get rid of imposter syndrome?





Outfit:
Yellow polka dot dress: Zara
Black faux leather jacket: New Look (similar)
White plimsols: Converse

I've been working at my current job for over three years now and yet I'm still waiting for the day to be pulled into a separate office and be told that they've made a terrible mistake employing me. And it's not just me that has these irrational thoughts. Nearly all my friends agree with me. Despite being well established in our careers, we still have a massive fear that someone will find out that we've been winging it all this time and we're not qualified at all. It's all complete rubbish of course, as if we honestly couldn't do our jobs then we would be long gone and replaced with someone who could.

Imposter syndrome is very real and it can be very difficult to get the invasive thoughts out of your head. If you let it, it will continue to fester. I've had it ever since I've started Uni if I'm honest and I'm not sure it'll ever go away. But you can learn to bat it away.

Remember it's natural to do things wrong at work. The only way we learn is if we make mistakes. Use those mistakes to try and make yourself better, learn from them, adjust the way you work and then lock the thought of them away. Talking things through with friends always helps. As I've found, they often feel the same themselves and friends make a great sounding board. They'll often tell you what a Queen you are and trust me, that's a surefire way to make you realised that actually you do know what you're doing after all. Finally, sit down and think. Think about everything you've achieved at work. Did you manage to pull off a successful project? Did you kill a presentation when you were nervous as hell? Did you do a piece of work and get praised for it? The chances are you've definitely pulled something off that you were worried about. And if that doesn't prove you don't deserve your position in the company, then what will?

How do you deal with imposter syndrome? Tell me I'm not alone in having these thoughts!


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It's ok to let go of your dreams





Outfit:
Red midi dress: Primark (similar)
Light wash denim jacket: Primark (similar)
White espadrille sandals: Next (similar)
Red leather backpack: Michael Kors (similar)

I'm a dreamer. A girl that always has her heads in the clouds. A girl who always has 101 dreams she wants to fulfil. Ask my boyfriend about all my big ideas and he'll tell you he's the one who has to be my anchor to make sure I live in the real world. My main dream in life were to work for a newspaper. There were times when I never thought this would happen. Namely when I was interning for free for a whole year gaining job rejection after job rejection. And when I was made redundant from my first magazine job and making no waves in the freelance world. But finally it happened. Finally I was able to say that I did in fact work for a newspaper. Dream ticked off. But alongside that main dreams were little ones. I've always wanted to live in London. But now I've bought a house on the outskirts in Essex. I've always wanted to travel the world. But I've only actually been outside Europe twice, both to the States. I've always wanted a Chanel handbag. But realistically could never justify spending a couple of grand on a bag when I have a lemonade purse.

You put hours upon hours of time and energy trying to make your dreams come true. Everything you work towards in life has an end goal of making that dream come true. We're taught that if we work hard enough then our dreams do come true. So it can be so soul-destroying when you feel like you're not getting anywhere. They start to consume every hour of your waking day and you feel like a failure because it's just not working out how you imagine. As you get older, those dreams seem to get further and further away. Real life gets in the way and before you know it you're tied down with a mortgage and suddenly hit the grand old age of 29. Buying this house felt so final. In a way, it felt like I was giving up on the dreams I had yet to fulfil. I think that was why it took me a good few months to get my head around it. I was mourning the loss of my dreams. Owning a house is such a big commitment and one that we would be tied into for the next 35 years.

As we got our offer accepted on the house, I realised that I probably wasn't going to live in London. We bought a doer-upper home in Essex as house prices were cheaper. It's a huge project and thanks to lack of funds, one that will probably take about five years to complete. We did have high hopes of buying and renting it out then renting in London. But that's looking unlikely as who will want to rent a building site and after all this hard work, I'll be damned if someone else gets to live in here! I've also had to accept that I might not have a year travelling the world. I'm going to have my travel fix through weekends away and a two weeks trip. Those dreams that 16-year-old Sophie had are put on the back burner and I'm unsure if they'll ever come true.

It's ok to finally put a dream in a box and accept that it's never going to fulfilled. Some dreams just aren't meant to be, no matter how much you wish they are. Instead concentrate on what you have achieved, not what you haven't. Think about everything else you've done, maybe even things that didn't even figure on your list. Sometimes we achieve dreams without ever realising they were dreams in the first place. And sometimes those are the best ones.


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Four things I did to have a social life while saving for a house deposit


One of the things I didn't want to happen when I started to save for a house deposit was to be stuck indoors for a year. I love going out, seeing things and eating things and wasn't quite ready to have all that taken away from me. After all, you're only young once right?! So I decided to try and strike a balance between still living life to full and putting away a large chunk of my wages each month. These are a few things that I find helped out a lot...

1. Cineworld unlimited card
This cinema card has been a lifesaver. It costs £17.40 and works out to be a great deal. Cinema tickets are around £9 now in our area and you only have to go twice to get your money back. It also offers 10% off Cineworld snacks and drinks - going up to 25% after the first year - alongside the same discount at Pizza Hut, Chiqutos and Frankie & Bennys. When you're sick of staring at the four walls, it offers great respite and helps you lose yourself for a few hours. We find ourselves seeing films we would never have dreamt of going to see which is a brilliant way to broaden our film knowledge. I really couldn't recommend the card enough.

2. Find free things
We're lucky that we live quite close to London and its filled with endless free museums, exhibitions and just a joy to walk around. I'm sure other big cities in the UK offer free events too. Yes you have to buy a train ticket or pay for petrol to drive there but it doesn't work out much in the grand scheme of things. You get out the house and still have a fun day out with a bit of culture thrown in too. We've spent hours gawking in museums and walked around London admiring the beautiful architecture for hours. When you get peckish, refer to tip number 4!

3. Bring the party to yours (or a friends!)
Instead of going out at the weekend, organise a night in all together. We had a cracking gin night a few weeks ago. Each person bought along a gin, mixer and garnish and when we got a bit peckish we ordered in a cheap pizza. It was one of the best nights I've had for a long time and we were in bed by midnight. You don't have to stay out all hours to have a fun night! Turns out sharing seven bottles of gin makes you sleepy... It wasn't ridiculously cheap but a hell of a lot cheaper than going out for drinks in London. It was great to have a catch up and proved when you're surrounded by good friends, you can really be anyway and it doesn't matter. You don't have to pay through the nose to have a good time.

4. Learn to be savvy when eating out
It's not secret that I love to stuff my face but eating out isn't too purse-friendly. Luckily now there ae endless deals to be had. Keep an eye out for soft launches for new restaurants- this website is great - as they often offer 50% off. Alternatively, many chains now do vouchers. Pizza Express and Prezzo always have pretty decent deals.
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How to have a chilled Friday evening indoors


I don't know about you but I really dislike going out on a Friday night and try to arrange my weekend socialising to start on a Saturday night. After the working week all I want do is come home, put some comfy clothes on - some Jack Wills Joggers would be perfect -  and chill out in my own head with maybe some pizza thrown in for some good measure. So here are my tried and tested ways to have a chilled out Friday night indoors. Staying in is the new going out don't you know?

Switching off
Your brain is pretty frazzled after a long week at work and what it doesn't need is to work overtime on a Friday night. So I tend to do something that completely allows my mind to wander elsewhere, to forget about what has happened over the last five days. I find a trashy film, a documentary you've seen before or a riveting book can help take you unwind.


Good food
After trying to eat healthily all week, Friday is the day that I come home from work and go for the comfort food. Something that's still wholesome and quick to make but like a hug in a bowl. Thai green Curry, Spaghetti Bolognese or chicken fajitas are my go-to meals. I find standing in the kitchen making something delicious is a great way to switch off too as all I can think about is how amazing it will be when I finally get to eat!

Leaving the inter webs alone
I know this is easier said than done but I spend my whole life on the internet - both at work and at home - so on a Friday night I'm feeling a little burnt out. I'm so tired from the working week that the last thing I want to is to spend hours scrolling social media and writing up blog posts. So unless I have something urgent to do, once it gets to 8pm I log out of the internet life and start living in the present. It also helps you get a decent night sleep which is always a bonus.


What is your perfect chilled out Friday evening like?

This post was written in collaboration 

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Why we all need a #girlgang


After thinking about booking Vegas for my 30th birthday, I've come to the conclusion that I'm not dreading that number. I feel like I'm going to hit 30 in my prime and feel happy knowing with the way things are. As cheesy as that sounds. This past year I've felt like all the puzzle pieces have finally slotted together and I feel so much more content with my lot than I ever have been. A huge part of this is because of friends. Coming from all walks of life, these girls just get me. I can completely be myself without any fear of being judged. Probably because they're often thinking the exact same thing.

I've often be called a 'strong woman' as if it's something to be ashamed off. A negative thing. But these girls make me feel like it's ok to put my career before having kids if that's what I want, to relish my independence and to blow a months rent on a handbag if I've worked hard. It doesn't make me a bad person. They're here to throw encouragement, hold your hand when it all gets a little too much, teach you that whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger and be your biggest cheerleader. I might only see some a few times a year and I might see some a few times a months. But no matter where they are, they're always there. One in particular feels like the sister I never had. They make me believe in myself, that I'm stronger than I think I am. In turn, its helped me to let things go and to not be such a worrywart. If things are meant to be, they will be and if they don't happen first time around, its doesn't reflect bad on me. I've learnt that life doesn't follow a script and its absolutely fine to just take it as it comes - to enjoy what I have achieved and not worry about what I haven't.

It's taken me a while to get here. I've spent years cutting out toxic people. Those people who you spend a day with and come home feeling like you've done ten rounds with Mike Tyson. Friends you really dreaded spending time with. But for some reason you just couldn't cut them out. I wasn't really too keen on having girl friends. As a result I never really had a proper group of girl friends until I was about 23. It was too stressful, too much drama. I much preferred to hang out with boys. But friendships aren't meant to be hard work.

Surround yourself by girls who make you believe you can take on the world. But most importantly surround yourself by girls who will pick you up when you fall and put back together the pieces.
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Three top tips for a girls night in


Let's face it, nothing beats a cosy night in with your favourite girl or two putting the world to rights, scoffing endless snacks and lusting over Ryan Gosling, wondering when on earth he is going to ask you out. All fun girly nights have three main ingredients. Include these and you'll end up having the best night in. I promise.

1. Pampering
I love a good pampering session but due to a busy life, I rarely make time. Something I need to work better on! But a girls night provides the perfect excuse while giving you a chance to natter. I'm loving sheet masks at the minute - thanks for introducing me Michelle! - and they really do work their magic. Worth it too for the comedy factor of having it on your face and pretending to be a ghost. Just me then... So pull together your favourite nail polishes, moisturisers and face masks to give each other some much needed TLC.

2. Food
Food is probably the most important aspect of any meet up or any occasion really. But pigging out doesn't always have to mean shoving a 20 inch pizza, a bowl of nachos and 25 chicken wings down your throat in less than ten minutes. Luckily Go Ahead!* have the perfect snacks that allow you to indulge but feel a little less guilty too. My favourite are the cookie bites - especially the sweet white chocolate and raspberry nibbles. They're the perfect treat to make sure you indulge your sweet tooth and less than 100 calories. Perfection right?!  The crispy fruity yogurt breaks also get a massive thumbs up for me. I'll be making any excuse to eat these!


3. Films
Finally you need films. But not just any old films. Films that make you cry with laughter, smile until your face hurts and make your heart swell. So obviously any films with Ryan Gosling in. Light-hearted, funny films that you don't have to concentrate too hard on. Because let's face it, you'll be doing a hell of a lot of chatting throughout. If only to discuss THAT scene in The Notebook...

What are your top tips for a girls night in?


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Looking back at 2015


So 2015 is done and dusted eh? It's been a funny old year. The first half was full steam ahead but then the second half? It's been trying. Bad news seems to be a reoccurring theme. But you know what's life without a few bumps in the road?

Friendships have fallen apart at the seams this year, leaving me still scratching my head at what happened in that department. I suppose some relationships are just not for the long haul. It has however made me so thankful for the people who have stuck around. Who are just as rubbish as me at keeping in touch and don't take offence when I disappear of the radar for a while. Which has been more times than I care to remember this year. Those who are always there when I do finally get my head in gear. Those who get in touch with me just as I'm feeling low and say the right words without even realising it.

I am currently unemployed and desperately trying to carve out a career in freelancing. Freelancing has been more difficult that I ever thought it would be. I ended this year on a high in my work life, having spent just under 6 weeks at a publication I've really enjoyed. Learning new skills and working in a great environment. I lost my job in July and it's been a whirlwind of emotions since. I've worked at a few publications but it's not been a steady flow and I've been down the job centre a few times with my tail between my legs signing on. I don't have anything set in stone for the new year which is slightly worrying but what will be, will be. I'll just be holding on as tight as I can to see where the job roller coaster takes me next year. The unknown can be exciting right?!

I've struggled a lot with self-confidence this year. Confidence in the career I've chosen, confidence in my looks and confidence at not sucking in life. It's so easy to compare ourselves to others and once you start, it can be a downhill spiral to a one-woman pity party. I hardly ever think I'm good enough and usually I can brush it off with a wise crack or a self-deprecating joke. But this year I've found myself wallowing more than usual. I've taken more than a few hits and struggled to get back on the horse.

But this year I have felt I've grown. I'm slowly getting better in believing in myself. I've grown in confidence in my ability to things done, grown in confidence in making the right decision for me and grown in learning to brush things off with my head held high. I'm going into 2016 knowing that I'm just plodding along, not really having any direction in life but feeling pretty content that the life I'm currently leading really isn't too bad at all. I've got a family who adore me, a boyfriend who always has my back and friends who accept me for being me. Those good moments? They've been the bloody best!

Show me what you've got 2016. I'm ready.
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5 of the best snacks to eat mid-morning


The period between breakfast and lunch is a killer so here are some snack suggestions you can keep on your desk for when hunger strikes. And save you from raiding the chocolate in the vending machine.

1. Perkier bars*
These new 100% plant based quinoa and sprouted grain oat bars are packed with goodness and perfect to help keep your energy levels up mid-morning. They're also free from wheat, gluten and dairy. Thanks to the quinoa, the bars really fill you up. The slow burning energy keeps you feeling satisfied before you can tuck into lunch. And keeps you away from the dreaded biscuit drawer! My personal favourite is the fruity goji and cranberry flavour. Who needs a chocolate bar? #getyourperkyon!

2. Yogurt drops
I got this idea from Sarah a while ago and it's genius! Simply pick your favourite fat free Greek yogurt and using a teaspoon, drop into a baking tray. Pop in the freezer over night before taking to work the next day. It's a great way to keep your sweet tooth at bay but without the guilt.

3. Fresh fruit salad
Is it me or does fruit taste so much nicer when it's cut up in a bowl? All the peeling is too much of a faff when you're in your flow. Make up a fruit salad the night before. Try something a little out of the ordinary and choose fruit that's in season. Clementines, apples, pommegrantes and cranberries are all in abundance in December.

4. Hummus and vegetables
Hummus comes in all different forms now at the supermarket but if you're feeling adventurous, whiz up your own batch at the weekend for the working week. I'm loving red pepper hummus at the money with carrot batons and sticks of cucumber

5. Popcorn
Popcorn is great because you can satisfy your sweet or savoury tooth. There's more varieties on the market than ever. Plenty of brands offer healthier versions too. It's better for you than a bag of crisps but you still feel like you're treating yourself. Win win situation!

What are your favourite snacks?
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5 ways to switch off after work

1. Scrapbooking
If you're anything like me, you love to collect bits and bobs from your adventures. Ticket stubs, leaflets, photo booths photos and odd knick knacks are all full of happy memories. So rather than stuffing them into a drawer, pop them in a scrapbooks. Make sure you arm yourself with some fuel - I'm loving Lovechock, a raw chocolate sourced from Ecuador. Instead of being roasted, the beans are cold ground. Natural Balance Foods are also a favourite at the minute. The Gingerbread flavour of the healthy snack bars is making me feel very festive! These delicious snacks are full of goodness so I don't feel so guilty about stuffing my face.  Settle down for an early night and take a trip through memory lane.

2. Paint your nails
I never feel more that I have my sizzle together then when I have pristine painted nails. There's just something about them that make me feel like I can take on the world. So I love nothing more then settling down after dinner, picking a colour from over a 100 nail polishes - I wish I was joking - and making my fingers look pretty. It's a great way to just forget about the world for a little while.

3. Life admin
There's just something about organising that gets me. I let my room/life get into a right old mess before something finally snaps and I'm on a mission to sort it all out. Nothing more rewarding them flopping down on your bed and realising that your life is in order. Tidy up that pile of papers sitting at the end of your bed, clear out some old clothes for eBay or get rid of those toiletries you ain't ever going to use.

4. Baking/cooking
As much as I hate to clear up, I feel most relaxed when I'm in the kitchen rustling something up. It doesn't have to be spectacular but cooking something from scratch always gives me a sense of achievement. You kinda get lost in the moment, forget about all your troubles of the day and have some very tasty - hopefully! - to eat by the end of it. Plus who doesn't like cake? If you don't, I'm judging. Soz.

5. Pamper night
We all need a little 'me' time and sadly it seems to be non-exsistant. Weekdays are always spent rushing around like a headless chicken, trying to squeeze 25 hours into 24 hours before collapsing in bed exhausted. Instead, take a step back and give yourself some TLC. A TLC soundtrack is optional. Light some candles, hunt out your favourite face mask and settle down with a good book. You'll feel a hundred times better.

How do you switch off from work?
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Learning to trust your gut


Pressure. A concept that can push you under the water and making it feel like you're frantically paddling trying to keep your head above the water. A concept that can force you into making decisions not always in your best interest. A concept that can make you full of regrets.

Over the last few week I've been faced with some tough decisions to make about the possibility of my future. At the moment my future feels so uncertain. So up in the air. I've not know if I'm coming or going. Freelance is tough. Tougher than I ever thought it would be. But I don't want to take opportunities for the sake of it. I want to take them because they feel right.

I've not known if I'm shooting myself in the foot in turning opportunities down in the hope that something would come off or if it I'm doing the right thing and will soon be rewarded. But when I thought about it deep down I realised that although I'll be faced with the total unknown, my gut was telling me that it was the right thing to do. Instinct is a powerful thing. It can help you make the correct decision. Not for anyone else. But for you. The most important person.

No one knows you better than yourself. After all, you've lived with yourself since day dot and have grown as a person over the years. You know what you want from life. What you truly want to do. No one else is living your life. So trust that little voice in your head. It knows what it's talking about.
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5 ideas for a cosy evening


I don't know about you but now the nights are getting darker and the air is getting colder, I'm looking to hibernate. Once I get home after my commute into the city, I'm straight into my snuggly pyjamas and locking up for the night. Staying home doesn't have to be boring, use the time to have concentrate on making your soul feel happy.

1. Films and chocolate. Could there be any better combination? I love nothing more than popping my favourite film or boxset on - Peaky Blinders may have been watched about four times over the last few weeks - and snuggling under the duvet with a good box of chocolates. My favourites ones of late have been these delicious Lindt limited edition orange lindor truffles*. I may or may not have scoffed a whole box as I was drooling over Cillian Murphy with a cup of Tetley's new Super Fruit Boosts cup of tea*. Even with a razor blade sewn in his hat, he's still a babe.

2. If you can't face going out on a Friday night after a long week at work, invite your BFF round for a slumber party. Order in your favourite takeaway, get under the covers and prepare to chatter the night away. Sometimes the best tonic is your friends. They are just as weird and wonderful as you are.

3. I live for long, bubble filed baths with a bit of Craig David on Spotify to take away my troubles. Light your favourite candles, grab your most gorgeous smelling hair mask and warm up your vocal chords for an evening of bath singing and soaking. You'll get out feeling refreshed and ready cosy up in fleecy pyjamas.

4. Ban technology for the night - yes even the addictive Instagram - and switch off. I promise you'll sleep so much better and make a start on that pile of unread books on your shelf. Get lost in a world of make-believe and before you know it it'll be time to enter the land of nod.

5. Pop to the supermarket and stock up on marshmallows, squirty cream and Cadburys hot chocolate to make yourself the hot drink of dreams. Pile those fluffy balls of goodness sky high and sip away your troubles. There's nothing a good cup of hot chocolate in front of the telly can't solve. We all deserve a treat in winter time.

What do you do to make the dark nights seem less daunting?
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Learning your self-worth


Confidence is a funny old thing. We often get our confidence from other people. Someone compliments our dress? We beam with pride. Someone notices we've lost a little bit of weight? Suddenly the soup diet seems worth it. But really everything is subjective. Different people like different things. That's what makes life worthwhile. You're never going to be everyone's cup of tea so why bother?

Your self worth isn't based solely on the number on the scales or how you look in a body con dress. Happiness isn't based on if you can fit into a size 8. It's based on what you can get out of this wonderful life we've been given. Don't get me wrong, I'd love to lose 20lbs and get back to my pre-20 year old weight. But I've also discovered the delights of the London food scene. So alas I'm not sure if that's entirely possible. We place far too much of our self-worth in other people. We thrive on how people perceive us. When really all that should matter is how you perceive yourself. No one should dictate how we feel inside.

We should strive to be the person we want to be. If people have something negative to say? Cut them loose. Don't get me wrong, it's hard. It's bloody hard. After being bombarded with magazines telling us what we can do to loose that stubborn five pounds and how life is much better when you're skinner, it can take it's toll on anyones confidence. Most people don't actually care what size jeans you wear, it's all in your head. So get that little gremlin out of your head. Start acting like a queen bee and soon other people will start treating you like one.

You should be proud to be you.
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Why a little self-praise goes a long way


Bigging yourself is hard isn't it? As a Brit I'm very self-deprecating and find it difficult to accept compliments gracelessly. I like to to think it's what makes us so charming as a nation. Some might disagree. Someone tells me that my dress looks nice? I often reply that's it's only an old Primark number and it was the only thing that didn't need ironing. Someone tells me that they enjoyed an article I've written? I often rip it to pieces and say oh I wish I'd popped this in.

We're often told that no one likes a bragger. No one likes someone who is overconfident about their abilities, their looks and their work. But sometimes you have to believe in yourself. Because if you don't believe you're capable of doing amazing things or that all your hard work has made into a little star, how do you expect anyone else too?

I often feel like a bit of a fraud. I work in an industry that is very subjective. One person could love your writing whereas another might think it needs a lot of work. That's what happens when you work in a creative industry. There is no right or wrong answer as colleagues all have different things that they look out for. I admit that my confidence was knocked following my redundancy and I seriously considered a career change. But then I freelanced at a handful of places and after seeing my work published, I began to think maybe I wasn't so bad at this writing lark after all. I just needed to believe in myself. To tell myself that I do have the skills and I'm actually not too shabby at stringing a few words together. It's incredible how much of a weight was lifted off my shoulders after I allowed myself to feel proud. How much my confidence grew.

It doesn't make yourself a bad person to praise your abilities. To say you know what? I'm actually bloody good at doing this and I don't care who knows. It's not about being a big head. It's about being proud at how far you've come and that your efforts have finally paid off.

You've got this. You just have to admit it yourself.
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Money doesn't always equal happiness


Money. Money makes the world go round. Or so everyone leads you to believe. I was one of these people who spent money like water. I wanted to do everything and anything. I still do. But I don't have a full time job. So that makes it kinda hard.

At first I was unbelievably upset that I couldn't have my monthly spree on ASOS, treat myself to a Pret baguette or go out for spontaneous Friday night drinks. I moped around whining and sulking about the fact my bank account wasn't regularly being topped up by wages.  But then all my family, boyfriend and friends rallied round me. I realised money wasn't the centre of my happiness. They were.

When everything comes crashing down around you, you start to question where you are in life and how you get out of the rut, these are the people who have your back. They're the people who help you realise nothing's the end of the world. You just have to pick yourself up, dust yourself down and get back on the life road full steam ahead. They help you belly laugh, smile until your jaw aches and help you get back in the game. If they're lovely boys, they may even buy you a beautiful bunch of flowers to let you know they're thinking of you. Or if they're good parents they'll bring you home a bottle of perfume from their travels and treat you to dominos to cheer you up. Or friends who send you hilarious memes to remind you why you're friends in the first place.

Next time you feel down about your lack of friends, remember money isn't central to your happiness. The people you surround yourself by are. Don't take them for granted.
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Why it's ok to feel jealous


I'm not talking about jealously so consuming you want to cut up their clothes, key their car and boil their rabbit kinda thing. I'm talking about being a little bit envious. Feeling a little upset that they're having all the good things happen to them in life. It's totally normal to feel like this when you see someone doing well. Totally normal to want what they have.

Because what pushes us in life if it's not wanting to better ourselves? If it's not wanting what other people have? There's nothing like a good bit of healthy competition to give you the kick up the butt to achieve what you're capable of. How would we achieve our dreams if something isn't pushing us? It's human nature to think the grass is greener on the other side. But it's up to you to see if it's true by putting the hard graft in.

I'm going to hold my hands up and say I often get a bit down in the dumps that certain bloggers have all the best campaigns to work, get taken to exotic places, get to do their hobby as their blog and get dressed head to toe in ASOS for free. It's completely normal to think 'why them and not me'. The reason it's not me is because they have worked 10 times harder than me on their blog. They have lots of time to dedicate to their little space on the internet. I can have that too if I really want it - I just need to pull my socks up and push myself to be bigger and better.

Next time you feel green with envy, don't feel like an awful person. You're not. Simply use it fuel yourself to achieve bigger and better things. After all, you're capable of having what they have. Anyone is capable of anything. People who have achieved your dream have just put in the hours to make that dream their reality.
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Why you should do things that terrify you


The comfort zone. It's a lovely little place where you can cruise along at a nice, safe speed and have complete control of your life. But it's also freaking boring.  If everyone only ever stayed in their comfort zone, life wouldn't be as half as exciting.

When I was offered the once in a lifetime trip to road trip around the state of Illinois back in March, I could hardly believe my luck. I got to call that work? But there was a part of me that nearly passed it on to someone else in the team. I was going to have to spend over a week with people I didn't know, in a place I'd never been and it would require me to be on top form the entire time. In fact, I had such trouble sleeping the night before because I was so worried it was all going to be a disaster. As an only child I relish in my own company. Don't get me wrong, I love socialising and meeting new people. But I love nothing more then shutting myself off from the outside world and sitting in my own thoughts. After I went to Glastonbury - despite it being one of the best experiences of my life -, I had to be by myself for a good few days afterwards because I was exhausted at being in other people's company that I didn't know. Other only children will probably be able to relate! But saying yes to that US trip was one of the best things I've ever said. I can't even put into words how incredible that trip was. It sounds cheesy but I discovered things about myself that didn't realise I could do. I came back feeling so proud that I managed to travel to and from another country in one piece. Considering I once left my passport in Boots at Gatwick Airport!

I still remember the very first time I went to a blog event on my own without knowing anyone who was going to be there. Once again I very nearly pulled out when the blogger I was meant to meet up with couldn't go. But I put on my best smiling face, rocked up and made it my mission to chat to the very first person I came across. I was absolutely petrified inside - what if everyone thought I was a complete moron and they couldn't think of anything worse then chatting to me? But I did it and thought on the tube home about how much I got out of the evening because I didn't have one person to hide behind.

You only get one life. It'll be no good if you get to 90 and look back wishing that you took a tight, firm hold of everything that came your way. You want look back at the past and remember all the incredible things you got to do along the way. No one ever had a good story to tell by staying in their comfort zone. Try something that absolutely terrifies you and grab every opportunity with both hands.

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4 tips on how to save for a house deposit


It's all fun and games when you're buying china cups and saucers for your future house and picking out the perfect coloured Smeg fridge. But all that's no good if you haven't actually got the two pennies to rub together for a house deposit. As many people my age, I'm currently on the long journey to try and scrap together £30k to buy my own house. But with houses prices constantly on the up, I really haven't got too long. So I've got a few tricks and tips to help make the process a little easier.

Start a money diary
It can be so easy to spend money and before you know, it's the end of the month and you only have £2.31 left in your bank account and nothing to show for. Keep track of everything you spend from that random splurge in Topshop to the cheeky three bottles of diet coke. This will help you re-evaulate your spending habits and work out how much you can comfortably save a month and still have a semi-decent social life.

Set up a direct debit for the day you get paid
If you're anything like me, you live like a King the first week of your pay-packet and then have to survive like a pauper for the remaining three weeks. I set a direct debit to come out of my bank account the day I get paid for my savings account. This way I hardly know it's gone missing as it's like it was never really there.

Get a credit check
Before you get accepted for the elusive mortgage you have to undergo a credit check. You can find out more here. This will help give your credit history a score rating and will help you know exactly what you need to change or carry on doing. Once this is completed, house buying starts to get a lot more serious. Make sure you keep paying off those monthly credit card bills and make late payments a thing of the past. No point saving all that money if the bank is going to reject you anyway. Get your affairs in order!

Learn to make sacrifices
In an ideal world I'd have numerous Mulberry handbags, monthly trips to the Caribbean, a North London townhouse and a wardrobe full of Christian Louboutin shoes. But alas on my wages, it ain't ever going to happen. So you need to decide what you want the most and what you can still afford to do despite putting away a huge chunk of your money. For me it's travel - you can tell by my Pinterest board! I'm not really prepared to compromise on that aspect. So I've cut back on the amount of new clothes I buy so I can put more money towards seeing the world. That way the house deposit fund doesn't have to suffer.

Do you have any words of wisdom to offer?
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New Year goals - How I'm getting on


We're now in August -  how on earth has that happened?! - so I thought I'd have a look back at my New Year life goals and see how I'm getting on.

1. Read more books
Well I haven't read as many as I'd liked - I was aiming for one a month. But I am reading the second Game Of Thrones book which is a absolute monster so I'm not too disheartened with my total. So far I'm on my 5th book of the year which isn't too shabby. The Girl on The Train, The Fault In Our Stars, The Railway Man and A Game of Thrones: A Song Of Ice and Fire are all been enjoyed this year. Any recommendations?

2. Learn a new skill
Well I never tried to learn any of the news things I promised. But I did take up Lindy Hop dancing. Well I haven't been in about 4 weeks as real life has gotten in the way. But I've really enjoyed trying out something new. It's a lot harder than you would think! I've really missed not going and have a lot more time on my hands so I'm going to pick it up again.

3. Learn to budget
Erm yeah. The less spoke about this the better. This hasn't happened. But I been putting away money to buy a house and the fund is slowly growing. I just haven't stopped spending money on needless things.

4. Concentrate more on my blog
I finally invested in a URL for my blog and am saving up the money for a new layout overhaul. I've been trying really hard to include a variety of content that I would love to read on a blog and hopefully something you like to read. That's why you've been seeing a lot of food recently! It's something I'm passionate about and am really enjoying featuring. I feel like all my time investment is paying and feel really proud of my little space on the internet.

5. See more of the world
I vowed to travel more and this year has been a whirlwind of different places. I was lucky enough to go to the state of Illinois - including Chicago - and Luxembourg on press trips. I'm not quite sure how I got so lucky either! I've recently got back from a week in Barcelona and have a trip to Scotland booked in for October to see a friend. I've seen a fair bit of the UK too thanks to weekends in Wales, Liverpool and Oxford. I'm hoping if my money plans out ok to have a weekend away in Salzburg in December. But who knows.  I won't be jetting off to Amsterdam, Budapest or Newcastle like I thought I would be.  But it's funny how travel plans change and that's the beauty of them.

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A Essex based lifestyle blogger who lives a champagne life on a lemonade purse!

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sophie.warner89@yahoo.co.uk.

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